The Perfect Storm™
I am resolved that I will make this post without resorting to unorder list or list item tags :)
I awoke this morning, after an impressive three hours of sleep (curse your name and your children's children, Insomnia), to the Perfect Storm of bad mornings. Events had conspired to make me not only sleep deprived, but also hungry, grouchy and very under-the-weather. My head hurt, my stomach was unhappy with me (for a number of reasons) and my throat felt like it had been sandblasted, coated in asphalt and then scorched with the heat of a thousand suns. I was so tired that the walk from my bed to the utility room to put my laundry in the dryer was not only a challenge at 6:00AM (as it is on many mornings), but took on the full spectacle of a trial of Herculean proportions. When I managed to arrive safely at the washer and dryer, clothing still in place and without serious injury, I actually had to rest against the wall for a moment before continuing in my titanic task. On the way back to my bed (to glean all the rest I could from my remaining seventy-five minutes of sleep), I whacked my toe on a random object in the hallway and did not care. I stumbled into my bed and fell asleep blacked out, face down and uncovered, until almost 7:30AM.
By some miracle (seeing as how I'd been too tired to reset any of my three alarms), I managed to wake up with just enough time to use the facilities and prepare myself for work. Okay, that's a bald-faced lie. I didn't wake up in time, because we were fifteen minutes late leaving Zionsville to come to Downtown Indy this morning. Fortunately for me, I still made it into the office fifteen minutes before my day officially started. This happens because my dad is paranoid about being late and demands that we leave at the same time every day that we always have, despite the fact that we shifted our work day fifteen minutes later a couple of months ago. Go figure.
I just said "fifteen minutes" a lot in that paragraph, didn't I?
The kicker was that, due to my lateness, we couldn't stop for either herbel remedies (read: Rolaids, cough drops and a massive bottle of water) from the corner gas station or provisions (read: sausage-egg biscuit) from Hardee's. Bummer. Fortunately, my father was kind enough to bring me up a large cup of ice water, a V8 and some bacon and toast from the cafeteria once we got to the office. The toast was soggy and the bacon was of questionable lineage, but to my starved pallette they both tasted like ambrosia. The V8 was a nice touch, too. I also have a small bottle of Excedrin stashed away in my desk, so that ought to help battle the headache.
So one would think that this Conspiracy of Misery, involving a cast of characters ranging from Sam's Small Intestine to Panicky Dad, would have left me in the mood to have a Non Day at work. Don't know what a Non Day is? A Non Day is when you perform only the minimum amount of work to keep you from getting yelled at in any given workday. For some people, every day is a Non Day. For me, I like to save my Non Days for the days when I just can't do it - like this morning. It basically means that I'll come in, answer emails as they come along and fight any fires that pop up (which is hopefully none), but generally let my active projects wallow in their own insipidity for a day until I feel better. Is it a good work ethic? Hells no. Is it a good work ethic compared to some of the schlomos I work with? You betcha, and that's what makes me okay with it :)
In any case, I can very much not have a Non Day. I was told yesterday that I'm expected to package, test and deploy upgrades to both our production Netware client and our production ZENworks workstation agent. In a week.
What a bunch of buttclowns.
The one bright spot in my day is that I'll get to see Jessi tonight. As I mentioned yesterday, we're going to go see Sin City, which by all accounts (both professionally and personally reviewed) should rock.
In news that's at least primarily unrelated to my craptastic morning, both Toolshed and the official Tool website are now admitting that their March 31st and April 1st "news" posts about Maynard "finding Jesus" were April Fool's jokes. Err...duh. It was kind of a weak joke this year, compared to past years (like the great "bus crash kills band" joke of 1997). The best part is that MTV news actually fell for the prank, but only after Kurt "I can't belive I'm fifty and still work at MTV" Loder emailed MJK directly to ask him if the rumors were true (which MJK, of course, confirmed - because he's cool like that). I don't know what's scarier, the fact that MTV is stupid enough to fall for such an obvious April Fool's joke (from a band with a history of pulling an April Fool's publicity stunt every year since '97) or that Maynard and Kurt Loder email each other regularly enough that Loder's email wouldn't have been marked as spam and dumped out of Keenan's inbox O_O
Finally, if you get a chance to visit the Broad Ripple Brew Pub, get the fish and chips. Tasty++.
Mind the Lawnmower, though ;)
-Sam
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